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General Parenting Topics

  • Are Toy Guns Ever OK?

    The meaning of violence: Many parents wonder why their child is so fascinated by guns and other weapons. Parents do not want their child to view weapons as playthings, and many parents consider...

  • Assisting a Child with Annoying Habits

    We received the following letter from a mother of twins about some common habits that children develop. They develop so easily, and sometimes are equally difficult to overcome. We hope that our...

  • Building Strong Parent-Child Communication

    Meaningful parent-child communication provides a basis for a child's successful emotional development. We will discuss Lucy Daniels Center’s view about how best to build parent-child...

  • Choosing Appropriate Video Media

    Parents can better choose appropriate visual media, which we will refer to collectively as videos, when they understand the emotional issues that are at involved for their children. We will review...

  • Easing the Anxiety Out of Separation in Preschool

    The following is a question that we received from a parent, and our answer to that question: Q. Carla, my 4-year-old daughter, is always reluctant to let me go, whether she is with a babysitter,...

  • Effective Discipline

    Discipline is all about instilling correct behavior and helping children care about doing the right things. Lucy Daniels Center clinicians and teachers believe that discipline involves three...

  • Encouraging Good Behavior

    Providing explanations for appropriate behavior helps children learn kind and respectful behavior. We recommend using specific types of explanations with children at different ages. Kinds of...

  • Explaining the Facts of Life

    Young children, often at age four, five, or six, will often ask their parent where babies come from. Making babies and sexual relationships are closely intertwined, and this question affords...

  • Getting Ready to Start Kindergarten

    The start of a child's elementary school career is filled with opportunities for parents and teachers to support their emotional and social growth. While it is important to share in and support a...

  • Help Children Handle Their Anger

    Parents often are concerned that their three, four, and five-year-old children will say mean things, or even very occasionally hit. The management of children's anger has both external...

  • Helping 3 and 4-Year-Old Children Make Friends

    Parents do play an important role in helping their children develop friendships, and that role changes as the children grow. Three-year-old children build on the friendship skills that have been...

  • Helping Children Clean Up After Themselves

    Life with children is all about the small things - some of which can be quite frustrating for parents. In this article, we will describe some of the meanings of cleaning up to a child, and, based...

  • Helping Children Set and Meet Goals

    The following is a question that we answered about helping school age children to set goals.  We hope that our response to this family is also of use to other parents. Q. Our family has a...

  • Helping Children With Monster Fears

    Young children frequently develop fears of monsters. Children don't think about monsters in the same way that adults do. To a child, a monster is a real something, whether person or creature, that...

  • Helping Girls Become Strong and Independent

    There's no denying that times have changed for the better for girls. However, females of all ages continue to confront challenges in the form of cultural expectations. Young girls can benefit...

  • Helping School Age Children Prepare for a New Teacher

    Each school year is a new beginning that involves so many changes that it is inevitably a challenge for every child. There are, indeed, a number of ways parents can help preschoolers prepare for a...

  • Helping With Holiday Blues

    Children commonly have behavioral ups and downs during the winter holiday season. These ups and downs are children's signal that they need extra help from their parents. Parents can provide this...

  • Helping a 2-year-old Adjust to a Sibling's Arrival

    The following is a question that we received from a parent about helping their 2 ½-year-old son adjust to the arrival of a new sibling. We trust that this advice would be useful for other...

  • Helping with Attention-seeking Behaviors

    Lucy Daniels Center teachers and clinicians believe that the best educational and clinical experience and research suggests that children seek the amount of attention that they feel they need to...

  • How Should We Choose A Preschool?

    The following is a question from a parent who wanted our advice about choosing a preschool for her 3-year-old son who did not have prior school experience. We believe that our advice would have...

  • Is My Child Ready for A Sleepover?

    Sometime around 4 years of age, many parents begin to wonder if their child is ready for a sleepover with a friend. Some 4-year-olds can manage and grow from the challenge of an overnight, while...

  • Is My Child Ready for Kindergarten?

    A parent asked for our assistance with helping their child with her transition to kindergarten.  We share our answer below. Q. Our daughter Jill is about to begin kindergarten. She seems...

  • Keeping Halloween Emotionally Safe

    Halloween - that magical time where children are poised between excitement and over-excitement, pleasure and fear.  It is in many ways the most challenging holiday for parents. Halloween...

  • Keeping Halloween Emotionally Safe

    Halloween - that magical time where children are poised between excitement and over-excitement, pleasure and fear.  It is in many ways the most challenging holiday for parents. Halloween...

  • Learning to Say "I'm Sorry"

    Learning to apologize well is important and difficult. We believe that understanding both the "big picture" and a child's point of view about apologies enables parents to assist their child most...

  • Little Pitchers Have Big Ears

    Parents are often surprised to find out that their child has overhead adult conversations, even though it seemed as if they were not listening or were too far away to hear. Therefore, we recommend...

  • Managing Holiday Stress

    The winter holiday season can be exciting, pleasurable - and stressful. By planning ahead, parents can help make the holidays a meaningful experience for their children. However, it takes some...

  • Managing Tantrums by Putting Children in Their Room

    Some parents have found that they can help shorten their child's fit by putting him or her in their room.  They sometimes wonder if this is a good idea or not.  We want to offer some...

  • Mommy, Can I Marry You?

    "Mommy, can I marry you?": A question heard in some form or another routinely by mothers of boys and fathers of girls, ages three, four, and five in cultures across the globe. We will explain why...

  • Mommy, I'm Bored

    How many times in the course of raising a child will a mommy (or daddy) hear these words: "Mommy, I'm Bored?" And they are often perplexing words. Why is a child bored when there are so many...

  • Movies that are OK for Children

    We live in a world that confronts children with more than they can understand. The following provides some ways to think about how to provide guidance and limits for appropriate movies for...

  • Praising Young Children Effectively

    Praise from parents helps young children both to feel good about themselves and to learn appropriate behavior. Lucy Daniels Center has some suggestions about helpful ways to praise young children....

  • Preparing Children for Difficult Events

      Parents often face the question about whether or not to upset their child by announcing an upcoming event that the child doesn’t want to happen, such as a visit to a doctors and...

  • Preparing for Preschool

    We have recently provided advice to the mother of a 3-year-old child who is about to begin preschool.  We would like to share this advice. Q: My 3-year-old daughter, Jill, begins her first...

  • Preventing Temper Tantrums

    Although tantrums are all but inevitable — it is a rare child who has never "pitched a fit" — reducing their frequency is the best way to help children.   What is a temper...

  • Promoting Tolerance in Children

    Although much in unknown about the causes of intolerance, we can discuss one factor that we know does play an important part in developing tolerance: the ability to empathize.   What is...

  • Protecting Children from Sexual Overstimulation

    To wear clothes or not to wear clothes: an age-old parental question. Parents want their children to learn to be comfortable with bodies. We will provide guidance based on an understanding of the...

  • Raising Considerate Children

    Little is more important to parents than raising considerate children — children who feel a moral obligation to treat others with kindness and respect. Parental examples and instruction are...

  • Responding to Temper Tantrums

    We will first review our description of the causes of temper tantrums and children's emotional states during tantrums that we have described in more detail in another article, “Preventing...

  • Saying Good-Bye to a Teacher

    Preschoolers form strong relationships with their teachers, and saying good-bye to someone who is very important is a meaningful moment in a child’s life. We would like to share our...

  • Smoothing the Rough Spots in Sibling Relationships

      Sibling relationships are complicated, individualized and changing over time for each sibling pair.  We would like to share our response to a particular question that we received,...

  • Spanking Children

      The Lucy Daniels Center believes that spanking children is unreasonable and unjustified. Abundant evidence relates physical discipline to conflictual, coercive, and even to abusive...

  • Taming Monsters With Imagination

      Young children frequently are disturbed by the idea that monsters are around.  Halloween is a time that these worries are liable to be bigger, but monsters don’t just appear...

  • Taming Nightmares

    Most children have nightmares from time to time. They are particularly frightening for children five-years-old and under. Children benefit from their parent’s help with these disturbing...

  • The Fascination of Dinosaurs

    Some people say dinosaurs are extinct. Lucy Daniels Center likes to say that they are immortal, living on in the hearts of four and five-year-olds, especially boys. Parents notice this, and are...

  • Toddlers Becoming Afraid of Separations

    Toddlers sometimes seem to suddenly develop an anxiety about separation.  We frequently counsel parents at the Lucy Daniels Center about this situation.  The following is a question that...

  • Toilet Mastery in Toddlerhood

      Many parents have questions about toilet training, especially when every “expert” seems to have a different opinion about the best time and the best way to do it. This column...

  • Trouble with Transitions

      Many very young children struggle with transitions: situations in which adults ask children to shift activities. We would like to offer some advice for how parents can help their 3- and...

  • Understanding and Easing Bedtime Troubles

    Some parents are blessed with children who just conk out or manage to drift off smoothly. Yet, many parents are not so fortunate.  How can they assist their child who may need extra help at...

  • Using Time Out Effectively

      Time‑out: Time‑out is a reasonable form of discipline in which the adult requires a child to spend time in a particular place, such as five minutes in a time-out chair. We...

  • Using Your Words

      "Use your words." It seems like parents are always saying this to their young children. Often, however, we are told that this instruction seems to be unhelpful. We would like to discuss...

  • What is Fair to a Young Child?

      If only we had a nickel for every time children say something isn’t fair! Helping children always starts from an understanding of their perspective. As a basis for our guidance in...

  • When Kindergarteners Use Bad Words

    Parents are usually perplexed when their children repeatedly use bad words. It may seem to parents that children are using such language because it is forbidden or gets a reaction, but this is...

  • When Should Discipline Start?

      Parents frequently ask Lucy Daniels Center clinicians and educators: When should I begin disciplining my child? And how do I introduce discipline? These are thoughtful questions that...

  • Why Do Children Lie?

    Most parents worry at one time or another about their child’s honesty. One reason parent’s worry is that many children do not seem to show remorse for lying. Rather, children may...

  • Why Do Some Children Respond Negatively to Discipline & Limits

    Children sometimes will respond with negative reactions to limit setting, verbal corrections and consequences.  This can be a difficult behavior to understand, and can be misleading. Although...

  • Why are Mealtimes so Difficult?

    Claiming turf: One reason that children engage in "control battles" over food is that they are exerting their right to ownership over their own bodies, to be the one who knows what foods they...

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Mental Health Topics

  • Building Mental Muscles to Overcome Childhood Anxieties

    Lucy Daniels Center clinicians are frequently asked to help parents with their children's anxieties. We would like to focus in this article on children of school age. Many times, such children...

  • Can Children Inherit Depression?

    Although it is often hard to believe, children experience depression. Many parents are concerned about signs of depression in their child, or worried that depression might develop since it is...

  • Concerns about Sexual Abuse

    We received a question from a parent who was concerned about the possibility that her 6-year-old daughter had been sexually abused. The following is her question and our answer. We anticipate that...

  • Decisions about Using Medication for Behavior

    Lucy Daniels Center mental health clinicians counsel parents about the use of medication many times each week. We recommend that parents make their decision on the basis of a comprehensive...

  • Depression in Childhood

    Causes for childhood depression: Although it is sometimes difficult to imagine that a child may be depressed, many children are experiencing childhood versions of depression. There are various...

  • How Can I Help My Anxious Child?

    Many parents are concerned about anxieties that their child has.  All children have anxieties, yet sometimes they seem excessive. Parents can best help their when they understand the nature...

  • How to Encourage Your Child to Try New Activities

    The world of children seems to be divided among those who throw themselves into everything, those who are hesitant to stretch themselves, and those in the middle. Introducing new activities is...

  • Judging the Seriousness of Children's Threats of Self-Harm

    Lucy Daniels Center clinicians are often asked by parents to help them assess how worried they should be about their child's threat of self-harm, or stated wish to be dead. This is a very...

  • Managing School Refusal

    Parents are often perplexed when something, such as the enjoyment of school, suddenly changes for a school-age child. Let's consider some of the possible reasons for a child's distress over...

  • Mood Swings and Bipolar Disorder in Children

    In recent years, mental health clinicians have become aware that many adults who develop the condition known as Bipolar Disorder have had some symptoms during their childhood. The challenge for...

  • Reactive Attachment Disorder

    Parents often ask Lucy Daniels Center clinicians for guidance with children who they have adopted from a foreign land. Our experience has been that parents are generally concerned about children...

  • Should We Test Our Child For ADHD? Part 1

    Many parents wonder if they should test their child for ADHD. After all, somewhere between 3 percent and 7 percent of children preschool age or older, mostly boys, meet the diagnostic criteria for...

  • Should We Test Our Child For ADHD? Part 2

    Sorting out the reasons for an ADHD diagnosis is, in the opinion of the Lucy Daniels Center clinicians, a complex task. There are times that the most important factor resulting in the ADHD...

  • Understanding ADHD

    Perhaps the most common question posed to Lucy Daniels Center clinicians is: "Does my child have ADHD? Should we test for ADHD?" Often, a child's pediatrician or teacher has raised the question....

  • What are Social Skills and a Social Skills Group?

    Parents frequently ask Lucy Daniels Center clinicians about social difficulties that their young child is having.  Perhaps their child is having difficulty working out conflicts with...

  • When to Seek Professional Mental Health Help

    There are four guidelines that Lucy Daniels Center mental health staff suggest parents, teachers, pediatricians, and others consider when thinking about whether a child's emotional and social...

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Special Parenting Topics

  • Assisting Children with Divorce

    Divorce is an emotionally challenging time for every family member. Each family's circumstances differ, but the following are general guidelines that should be useful. Keeping children out of...

  • Breaking the news about Santa

    Parents often wonder: What is the right time to tell children that Santa is not real? Understanding what Santa means to children can provide guidelines about how to handle questions about Santa...

  • But I Want Mommy!

    We received a question about a young child who had a distinct preference for his mother.  The question and our response follows: Q: Our 4-year-old son, Brad, has always had a mild...

  • Coping With Catastrophes

    From time to time, a national disaster occurs that does not directly affect most children.  The events of September 11, 2001 or Hurricane Katrina are recent examples among others.  Even...

  • Custody Arrangements For Young Children

    Times of separation and divorce are difficult times for parents and children. Although some of what we suggest might be difficult for some parents to achieve, our suggestions are based on our...

  • Early Lengthy Separations Entail Risk

    Lucy Daniels Center clinicians have long counseled parents to think carefully about the possible negative effects of excessively long separations from their very young children. It has become...

  • Explaining Cancer to Children

    Many families have close relatives, or even members of the nuclear family who are dealing with cancer. We have responded to a question from a parent - that particular situation involved a child's...

  • Handling Inappropriate Media at a Friend's House

    There was a time when it was easier to protect children from stimuli and information they were not ready to handle. There was much less of it around, for one thing. Now it seems to sneak in from...

  • Helping Children When a Pet Dies

    Everyone in a family feels the loss of a pet, a special family member. We recommend that parents consider their children’s loss from two standpoints. First, they will no longer have their...

  • Helping Children with Parental Unemployment

    In today's economic climate, many parents are facing or experiencing unemployment. Unemployment is an ordeal for the adult as well as a challenge for his or her partner, and children. ...

  • Helping Young Perfectionists

    Many children — and their parents — struggle with perfectionism. It is difficult for parents because it is difficult for their children. Here we provide some background and guidance to...

  • Helping a Child with Lying

    The following is some guidance that we provided to a mother of a 7-year-old child who was having difficulty fessing up to a misdeed. Q. Our 4-year-old son's favorite truck was nowhere to be...

  • How Shy is too Shy?

    Approximately one third of children could be described as shy. Although "shy" behaviors may look similar on the outside, children behave in shy ways for unique, personal reasons that are important...

  • Is Co-Sleeping a Good Thing? (The Family Bed)

      The Lucy Daniels Center does not recommend family beds because we do not believe that this arrangement supports young children's developmental needs. Changing needs for comfort:...

  • Lengthy Separations Between Child and Parent

    We had the opportunity to answer a particularly important question that a parent asked us regarding a long trip away from their young toddler. This topic is one that is insufficiently discussed in...

  • Planning to Adopt from Overseas

    Many families adopt children from overseas.  There are special issues involved in foreign adoptions. We can provide some guidelines for parents based upon information about child development....

  • Preparing Children for Divorce

    Divorce is always a most trying time for all concerned. When young children are involved, parents have the responsibility to create conditions that will help their children absorb the impact of...

  • Preparing Children for an Adopted Sibling

    We recently responded to a question from a family who have two children, and will be adopting a child in the near future.  We know that each family has its own particular features, but hope...

  • Preparing for Moving Homes

    In today's world, approximately 20 percent of families move each year.  There area number of ways that parents who are embarking on this adventure can help their children prepare for this...

  • Providing Security for Internationally Adopted Children

    The following is our answer to a question that we were asked about supporting a particular 3-year-old adopted child.  Although our answer was in reference to particular circumstances, we hope...

  • Resisting New Activities

    The world of children seems to be divided among those who throw themselves into everything, those who are hesitant to stretch themselves, and those in the middle. Introducing new activities is...

  • Should Young Children Attend Funerals?

    The Lucy Daniels Center received a question about whether two young children should attend a funeral.  The advice that we offered would pertain to any family in such a situation.  Here...

  • Talking With Children About School Violence

    Worrisome events like school violence are terribly upsetting to all of us. It's hard enough for adults to make sense of such horrific events; just imagine how difficult it is for children to wrap...

  • Tummy Aches at School Time

    Many children who are reluctant to go to school communicate their feelings through physical complaints, such as headaches or stomachaches. These symptoms may appear before school or appear during...

  • Using strong discipline with hard-to-manage children?

    Harsh discipline is very problematic. Scores of studies over the years have come up with similar findings. Very strong discipline (whether harsh verbal or any kind of physical discipline) has only...

  • When Children Resist Visiting Daddy

    The following concern that a mother expressed to us about their young child protesting visits to their father after a separation or divorce is one that scores of parents have posed to Lucy Daniels...

  • When a Pet Dies

    When a treasured pet dies, everyone in a family feels the loss of this special family member. We recommend that parents consider their children’s loss from two standpoints. First, they will...

  • Why are Some Children Shy?

    The following is the answer from Lucy Daniels Center clinicians to parents who were concerned about their 5-year-old son's shyness. We hope that our answer will be useful to other parents as well....

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